Tuesday, February 28, 2012


So I was recently online and I saw this little jokey-type saying that said, "I'd love to be a stay-at-home mom, just without the kids." I thought to myself, "What a horrible message! That's so negative! I'm going to get on facebook right now and exclaim my love for motherhood to counter-balance this negativity. Take that!"

But then I thought about it.

I've had a number of people say to me, "Being a mom is the best! I love every minute of it! There's nothing better." And if I hear that comment only moments after cleaning my son's poop off the floor, while simultaneously hearing him vomit one room away (true story... happened this week), then I get agitated. I feel guilty because I don't love every minute of it, and I'm jealous of this mom who does.

So then I didn't exclaim my undying love for motherhood on facebook. But I'm also not going to joke about wanting to be a stay-at-home mom without kids. Is there some kind of balance?

Those are my thoughts for today. That's just me being honest. Because I do love being a mom. I love so many things about it, and sometimes I want to scream it from the rooftops. And then just moments later I can be staring at my child, in tears, because I have no clue what to do in this situation and maybe I'm the worst mom in the world and why is there poop everywhere?!

I would just love it if more moms were a little more vulnerable and honest. So many things bring me such great joy... like finally hearing my son sort of say the word "ball" at 18 months, or how insistent he is at praying before every meal (melts my heart), or the look on his face when I get him out of his crib in the morning and he sees me, and his eyes light up like I'm the best thing in the world. (this is a very short-lived moment, however, because within five seconds he demands breakfast)

cutie-pie to the max, right?

But then sometimes your son brings you a clementine to peel while you're going to the bathroom, and without thinking you peel it for him, and you're like WHO AM I?? I need a break.

Anyway, I feel like this was possibly better suited for my own private diary than the world wide web... but isn't that what all blogging is anyway?

Thanks for listening.

I'll try to be honest about my experiences. Not whiney and negative, but not obnoxiously positive. Want to join me?