Birth Story on Mommypotamus

There are very few blogs that I actually read consistently. Mommypotamus is one of them. Heather is a woman who lives in the DFW area and shares tips on how she strives to lead an all natural lifestyle with her family. She has yummy recipes for busy moms, stories about breastfeeding, pregnancy, home birth, and other things I'm interested in.

Right now she is encouraging her readers to share their birth stories, so I linked Denver's birth story to her page. Feel free to check it out, as well as other birth stories.

http://www.mommypotamus.com/birth-story-bash-celebrating-your-story-october-21/

Denver's Birth Story Part III

There I was, at the very end of labor. Pushing and Charley horsing. Charley horsing and pushing. Finally, after what seemed like a lifetime, Denver’s head was born. This freaks a lot of people out because we had a water birth. “Isn’t that dangerous?” and “Won’t he breathe the water into his lungs?” are two common questions that we receive. The truth is that babies get their oxygen through their umbilical cord. They live in an environment where they are surrounded by liquid for nine months. When his head entered the bathtub, it was just like he was still inside the womb. He was still receiving oxygen through the umbilical cord, and his lungs don’t take their first breath until he is taken out of the water.

After his head was born, Donnellyn looked at us and said, “Okay, during this next contraction your baby will be born.” Words cannot express the excitement I felt in that moment. Austin says that I smiled for the first time in hours. I had a little person halfway out of my body, yet I suddenly felt almost no pain. When the contraction came, I pushed with all my might, and out came our beautiful baby boy. Denver was born at 5:36p.m. Donnellyn brought him out of the water and laid him immediately on my chest. His umbilical cord was wrapped tightly around his chest, which explained his dropping heart rate earlier in labor. She quickly unwound it, and after a few seconds he took his first breath. His little purple body started looking more and more pink. I was lying in the tub; looking at Denver, then up at Austin, then back to Denver, so completely overwhelmed with emotion. Within the same few moments, I felt relief that the labor was over, nervousness about being a new mom, exhaustion because of what I had just been through, but more than anything, I felt love for my son and my husband.

God answered so many prayers on September 7, 2010. The labor and delivery were basically complication free. I was able to have a natural childbirth. The entire labor was only 8.5 hours long (many labors are over 24 hours long). My son is healthy. I am healthy.

I mentioned in an earlier post that I was anxious about becoming a mom. I didn’t feel ready for our family dynamic to change. I won’t claim that I have totally overcome these fears, but God is truly changing my heart. I am encouraged by what Paul wrote to the Philippians: “One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead.” (Philippians 3:13) I am excited (yet still sometimes scared) about what God has in store for us. Parenthood is what lies ahead. I expect it will be quite the adventure.

Denver's Birth Story Part II

When we arrived at the birth center, I went straight upstairs to one of the bedrooms/birth rooms. I immediately wanted to lie down on the bed and rest. I had a few contractions in bed, and then my midwife gently reminded me that if I could keep my body in an upright position for a while longer, it would make my contractions more effective and efficient. Gravity would be able to help bring the baby a little faster. So I sat on a birthing ball (basically a giant exercise ball), and labored for a while sitting on the ball. I think I was in that room for about an hour, and then moved to the bathtub. As Austin mentioned in an earlier blog post, we had a water birth.* This freaks many people out, but I can attest that it was an incredible experience.

When I first sat down in the tub, my entire body seemed to say “thank you.” My muscles were able to relax a bit and the contractions didn’t feel as terrible. Then things got real.

I felt the need to use the restroom, and the toilet was across the hall. I walked to the toilet, sat down to use the restroom, and immediately had a contraction that made me think my insides were falling out of my body. I literally fell off the toilet, onto my hands and knees and into the hallway of the birth center. I could no longer support my own weight. At this point, I thought there was a real chance that I was having my baby in the hallway. I didn’t think I was going to be able to move. However, Donnellyn was able to convince me to get back in the tub. I literally crawled on all fours back to the tub, and made it in time for the serious pushing stage of labor.

At some point during the pushing stage, Denver’s heart rate began to drop a little. The midwives decided that the best course of action would be to have me wear an oxygen mask. This pretty much did the trick. I just had to keep taking deep breaths of oxygen, and Denver’s heart rate stayed within a healthy range.

It seemed like a lifetime, but the entire pushing stage was just under an hour long. With about twenty minutes to go, one more element of pain was added to the equation. The muscles on the left side of my rear-end/hip area began to charley horse. But then a contraction would come and I had to focus all my energy on pushing. The contraction would stop, and I’d immediately freak out and writhe in pain because of the charley horse. Then came a contraction. Charley horse. Contraction. Charley horse. Contraction. For about twenty minutes. It is almost funny now, looking back on how pathetic and crazy I must have looked, but at the time, it was certainly not funny.

The best part of the story will be the last, because that is when I got to meet Denver…

*See above picture. My experience was a lot like this. Very glamorous.

Denver's Birth Story Part I

Monday night (Labor day) I began to feel some contractions. I laid in bed that night, looked at Austin and said, “I think this baby is coming tomorrow. I think this is our last night just the two of us.” I was right.

I was able to sleep through the night because the contractions were not very strong yet. A few of them woke me up throughout the night, but I was always able to get right back to sleep. The following morning, I woke up, made myself some eggs and toast, and sat down at our dining room table to eat breakfast and read my bible. As I was eating, at about 9:00 a.m., I felt a contraction that was so strong it made me jump to my feet because it startled me. I consider this the official “beginning” of my labor.

These stronger contractions continued every 10 minutes, so I called Donnellyn (our midwife). She told me that I was in very early labor, and that it would probably be a while before the baby came, so I should try to stay occupied throughout the day and not focus on contractions. I was told to call her back when the contractions were stronger and six minutes apart.

By 10:30 a.m., I was seriously hurting and I called Austin to tell him to come home from work. It was pretty fun to call my husband and tell him that we were having a baby that day. :) By the time he made it home, the contractions were coming faster and stronger. I timed a few of them, and they were already six minutes apart, so I called Donnellyn to update her. She told us to come by her home because it was on the way to the birth center. She wanted to check me to make sure that I was in active labor before going out to the birth center.

We arrived at her house at around 1:00p.m., and at this point, whenever a contraction hit, my body would sort of collapse. I had been told over and over to relax into the contractions and not let my body fight them, so with each contraction, I dropped onto my knees on her couch and swayed back and forth, trying to relax my entire body (not an easy task).

Sure enough, she said that I was in active labor, so we made our way out to the birth center. For months I had been telling Austin that I liked the idea of giving birth while it was raining outside. Well I certainly got my wish. As we drove to the birth center it was storming so hard you could barely see the road. Tornado sirens were going off; it was crazy. More to come later...

I'm Glad To Have My Wife Back

I'm not glad because the last 9 months are over and now I have an un-pregnant wife again, I mean on Tuesday, labor day, I had a few minutes with her here and there but for the most part she was in the zone. And when you're in the labor zone, life is different. You know when you ask your wife a simple question like, "almonds or crackers?" and she just stares at the wall and exhales in rhythm... she's in the zone. And i'm glad that she's now out of the zone and fully able to interact with me again.

I can in no way describe the miraculousness of birth. It is perhaps one of the most basic occurrences in the world and yet most people don't experience it until they're well into life, if ever. Don't get me wrong, giving birth is horrible. There's blood and screaming, moaning and sweat, oxygen tanks and heart monitors... but there's also a baby. There's this precious little person, that was carefully knit together inside my wife, that is coming to meet us. I cried. I cried a few times, but always between contractions and always when Caitlin was collapsed on her side not looking at me because I wanted her to think I was being strong for her. However, in retrospect I could have been laughing or sleeping and she wouldn't have known because she was seriously in the zone.

I can't explain how proud I am of her. The entire labor was 8 hours, which is a 3rd the length of most first timers, and the intense (I mean, get me out of here, let's die - intense) pushing stage was less than half of most. And all of this was the case because of 3 things: 1) Grace, 2) Donnelyn's Guidance (our midwife), and 3) Caitlin's hard work all through pregnancy. To watch your wife go through such pain, and to work through it and triumph over it... I think that's where most of the tears came from for me.

Donnelyn and the birthcenter were amazing. There were 4 wonderful women at our birth just looking for ways to serve us. One girl even washed and dried all of Caitlin's clothes and had them ready for us when we left. Donnelyn really made the whole experience of pregnancy a blessing, brought us closer together and got us more excited than ever to make Denver apart of our family. We would have never known so many things, like a waterbirth was a possibility, if not for these great women. Yes, we had a waterbirth. That means caitlin gave birth in a bathtub. However for a short time we almost thought we were having a hallway birth. You see when you have prepared your body to have a rather quick labor, your body doesn't always leave you time between contractions to go to the bathroom. And there's this stage of labor (right in between the "don't talk to me" and "kill me now" stages) known as the "hope you weren't planning on standing" stage. This moment happened on the way to the bathroom, in the hallway. But alas, we made our way back to the tub. Which i'm a huge fan of now, though originally I thought it'd be weird. Caitlin said it was a TON more comfortable; I liked it b/c it forced a good distance between me and the action. If we were on a bed I would have had the option to see and handle a lot more 'stuff'... I'm glad that option was taken away from me.

I kept telling Caitlin during it all that she didn't have to fear the pain, it was planned and it was with purpose. I like to think this helped but I know she didn't really hear me. I really think giving birth is a huge illustration of life. God made my wife's body to give birth, she can either fight it and make it more painful and more complicated, or she can trust and let go. Not that trusting and letting go is the easier option, it's certainly more difficult, but like the Psalm says: Pain may endure through the night, but joy comes in the morning. And it's kinda ridiculous. "Just let go and let your body rip itself apart... it's okay" ... ? How is anyone going to trust in something crazy like that. But Caitlin sure did it. She is a stronger woman because of it, and her husband has fallen in deeper love with her because of it too.

Night one we got 6.5 straight hours of sleep, and night two 5.5... a lot more than expected. Denver is a cutey, lazier than ever and I would do anything for him. Really the thought of him growing up and doing things and giving me hugs makes me want to cry more. I'm gonna be one of those lame dads that chokes up every time anything happens. I still hate diapers, and baby decorations, and that yellow is considered 'neutral', but i'm a sucker for my boy. He doesn't have to do anything, ever, he's just amazing. And knowing that my amazing wife worked so hard for many months to bring him out to see me just makes me want to work hard forever to be a great father and husband.

I know pregnancy isn't something you should just recommend to people, but man, what an experience.

Can a baby really be born "late?"

Today is August 26th and our due date was August 22nd. This officially makes our baby four days "late." Or does it?

A friend of mine recently emailed me a devotional from her pastor in Kansas City, Dan Wolgemuth. I don't know this man. I've never been to his church or heard him preach, but I read what he wrote about his grandchild being past her due date, and it really encouraged me. Allow me to share...

"Today, August 20, 2010 is eleven full days after the due date of our daughter Alli’s first baby. She’s in labor as I type. Just yesterday I informed a friend that she was "over a week late." But I was awakened this morning to the reality that our Father’s watch never runs slow… that He’s never late for an appointment, that He never oversleeps or reacts too quickly or scrambles to get something done… time, every second of every day, every day of every month, is His. Babies are born in the fullness of time. The last breath of every creature is deployed in the fullness of time. God Himself stands at the end of the phrase… "when the fullness of time had come, GOD…"; just as He stands at the end of every moment in our journey. He’s not stuck in traffic. He didn’t misplace His watch. He hasn’t forgotten to adjust for daylight savings. His batteries are fresh. His wisdom is impeccable. In the fullness of time… at St. Anthony’s Hospital in west Denver… a baby will be born. Not eleven days late, but right on schedule. This reality extinguishes anxiety while it ignites hope. Yes, my fourth grandchild will be born right on their due date…" - Dan Wolgemuth

Many people lately have been asking me if and when we are going to induce labor. The more that Austin and I research babies and the birth process, the more I am surprised at how quick our culture is to induce labor. Due dates are an estimation. Calculating a due date is not an exact science. It is perfectly normal and healthy for a woman to carry her baby up to 14 days past her due date, yet when someone is just four days "overdue," everyone is wondering when we plan to induce. My answer is that we don't plan to induce. Now, there are always exceptions to the rule: if the baby is in distress, or the placenta is no longer nourishing the baby, or other health risks are involved, then I absolutely understand inducing labor. However, this is most often not the case when it comes to inducing labor in America. It is usually simply because a woman is a day or two overdue, so a doctor decides to put her into labor before her body does it naturally.

Does this mean that we might be waiting quite a while longer for this baby to be born? Yes. Austin and I are excited and willing to wait on the Lord and his perfect timing. This baby will not be born late. This baby will be born right on time.

Prayer? Yes please!

I feel very fortunate to have so many people in our lives letting us know that they will be praying for us as the due date draws near (two days away! eek!) However I know that sometimes I tell people that they'll be in my prayers, but I'm not entirely sure how to pray for that person. What specifically do they want prayers for? What would be the biggest blessing for them? So if you are a praying person, and feel moved to pray for us, allow me to offer a few suggestions...

Our prayer requests:

1. a safe and healthy delivery for Caitlin and baby

2. wisdom for our midwife and her team throughout the labor and delivery process

3. no complications during the birth

4. quick recovery for Caitlin after the birth

5. that this baby's birth story would be a testimony to God's sovereignty and faithfulness

So why do we take these prayers so seriously? Why blog about this? Well, James 5:16 states that "the prayer of a righteous man are powerful and effective." This means that when Christians come before God in prayer that the prayers truly move the heart of God. There are so many people who want to do so much to help us as we transition into parenthood. In reality, the most powerful and effective thing that we can ask is that you pray.

Thanks in advance for your prayers. We will keep everyone posted on any updates!

Yes, we're using a midwife. And no, we're not hippies

When people hear that Austin and I have decided to use a midwife, we hear all sorts of responses. Some people are thrilled for us, others are pretty skeptical...

"You don't need to try to prove anything. No need to be Wonder Woman."

"You know, God invented doctors and medicine for a reason."

"Isn't it dangerous to give birth out of a hospital? What if something goes wrong?"

The truth is, I agree (for the most part). I am not trying to prove anything or be Wonder Woman. I believe that God uses doctors and medicine to help and heal millions of people. I am NOT anti-hospital. If something goes wrong during labor and delivery, I will be incredibly grateful to the OBGYN that saves my life or the life of our baby.

I just believe that there are a lot of misconceptions about midwifery and the birth process. We watched a fascinating documentary on hospital births compared to out-of-hospital births called The Business of Being Born. I don't necessarily agree with everything in the film. I just feel that God designed a woman's body to deliver a baby. Sometimes there are complications, and in those specific instances, it is good to have a surgeon step in. But I believe it is unnecessary to have a surgeon deliver 100% of babies. (OBGYNS are by definition surgeons).

Most other developed countries throughout the world use midwives for the majority of births. The United States stands alone as the country that has surgeons delivering almost all babies, and we have the second worst newborn death rate in the developed world. Obviously something needs to change.

Austin and I are by no means on a crusade to get all women to use midwives and natural childbirth. There are many reasons that hospitals are the better choice for lots of women. But for us, we feel using a midwife is the right decision.

Our midwife is an amazing woman named Donnellyn. She provides all of my prenatal care. I see her once a month, the same way women visit their OBGYN once a month. She does my blood work, checks my blood pressure and pulse, checks my protein and sugar levels, checks the baby's heart rate, and feels the position of the baby in the uterus (all the same things done at monthly check-ups with doctors). She has been such a blessing to us. I have her personal cell phone number, so whenever I am worried about something (no matter how small), I can call or text her, and she gets back to me almost immediately. For anyone who wants to know more about Donnellyn and her midwifery services, this is her website:

http://allaboutbabies.net/