Family, friends, strangers... just about everyone who sees a woman who is nine-months-pregnant naturally asks "how are you feeling?" And I know that different people are implying different things with this question.
Some might mean, "How do you feel physically? Exhausted? Hot? Uncomfortable?" Others might mean, "Are you feeling ready for this baby? Is the nursery ready? Do you have your car seat figured out? Is the crib set up?" And some others may even be wondering "How are you feeling emotionally? Are you ready for the most enormous change in your life? How do you feel about going from a family of two to a family of three?"
So of course, I usually just answer, "fine."
Because to really dive into all the physical and emotional feelings that I'm experiencing would probably take a lot more time than the question-asker was anticipating.
So here is my real answer, to all those who want a little insight into the mind of someone who could have a baby any day now...
- Physically... I actually do feel pretty fine. I think I feel much more comfortable than many women at this point in pregnancy. No swelling, no achy muscles. Even the Texas heat (yes, it has been about 105 degrees every day this week) hasn't been too bad because I just stay in air conditioning all day. I try to exercise as often as I can, and the only time that I experience a lot of discomfort is when I walk for more than 20 minutes. My tailbone begins to hold all the weight of the baby, which is not a great feeling.
- Emotionally... Maybe you should ask my husband about this one. He may have a different answer than me. :) He has certainly had to deal with my emotions running a little out of control throughout the pregnancy. And now, as the due date approaches, I am more emotional than ever. Most days I am incredibly excited about the arrival of this baby. I can't wait to finally meet him/her. I want to see that little face, and finally know this person that is currently kicking me in the ribs. Yet to be honest, I also have worries. I think my biggest concern is how our family unit is going to change so drastically. I am very blessed to have a husband that I am deeply in love with. I love spending time with him, I love quiet evenings together, I love having time with just the two of us. And while I know that we can still have date nights, and we can still make each other a priority in our lives, things are bound to change. Having a baby means that the way we relate to each other will inevitably change somewhat. Over the last few months, I have probably spent more time in prayer over this issue than anything else. I pray for contentment in my circumstances, no matter what they bring. In Paul's letter to the Philippians, he states, "I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content." (phil. 4:11) I love that he specifically states that he has "learned" his contentment. It didn't necessarily come naturally. Motherhood may not come naturally. I pray that as I make this transition into a new stage in life, that God would help me learn contentment with my current circumstances; and that even though things with Austin won't ever be the same, perhaps they can be even better.