Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Balance


So I was recently online and I saw this little jokey-type saying that said, "I'd love to be a stay-at-home mom, just without the kids." I thought to myself, "What a horrible message! That's so negative! I'm going to get on facebook right now and exclaim my love for motherhood to counter-balance this negativity. Take that!"

But then I thought about it.

I've had a number of people say to me, "Being a mom is the best! I love every minute of it! There's nothing better." And if I hear that comment only moments after cleaning my son's poop off the floor, while simultaneously hearing him vomit one room away (true story... happened this week), then I get agitated. I feel guilty because I don't love every minute of it, and I'm jealous of this mom who does.

So then I didn't exclaim my undying love for motherhood on facebook. But I'm also not going to joke about wanting to be a stay-at-home mom without kids. Is there some kind of balance?

Those are my thoughts for today. That's just me being honest. Because I do love being a mom. I love so many things about it, and sometimes I want to scream it from the rooftops. And then just moments later I can be staring at my child, in tears, because I have no clue what to do in this situation and maybe I'm the worst mom in the world and why is there poop everywhere?!

I would just love it if more moms were a little more vulnerable and honest. So many things bring me such great joy... like finally hearing my son sort of say the word "ball" at 18 months, or how insistent he is at praying before every meal (melts my heart), or the look on his face when I get him out of his crib in the morning and he sees me, and his eyes light up like I'm the best thing in the world. (this is a very short-lived moment, however, because within five seconds he demands breakfast)

cutie-pie to the max, right?

But then sometimes your son brings you a clementine to peel while you're going to the bathroom, and without thinking you peel it for him, and you're like WHO AM I?? I need a break.

Anyway, I feel like this was possibly better suited for my own private diary than the world wide web... but isn't that what all blogging is anyway?

Thanks for listening.

I'll try to be honest about my experiences. Not whiney and negative, but not obnoxiously positive. Want to join me?

6 comments:

  1. I think this is a brave post, Caitlin! I may not have children, but I have plenty of Facebook friends who do and you're right: they post as the two extremes. It's nice to see this honesty.

    This isn't the same thing as motherhood but if it's any consolation, people constantly tell me how "lucky" I am to have horses and a dog and a house, as if all of those aren't a huge amount of work! You know how much I love my animals and how much pride I take in my home, but my house doesn't magically clean itself and my animals aren't well behaved due to luck. I'm sure it's the same way with motherhood! But then again, I think that the best things in life are rarely easy.

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  2. Caitlin you are absolutely right! I strive daily to find balance, especially now that the girls are in school. The days of having them both home were long and sometimes difficult but also the best days of my life (looking back!). Now, they are in school all day, so when they get home I want to spend every minute with them. Of course there is homework, housework, dinner, activities and all the other things that have to get done. There are some days I can't wait to get them to bed and have a minute to myself, but wait! I had all day to myself! :) Then the guilt sets in! I try to enjoy the time I have with them and not feel guilty about the time we are away from each other. My dad always says...the days are long, but the years are short! I always thought that was kind of corny but I am finding that it is very true! I enjoyed your honesty!! I think there are many other moms that feel the same way! :) BTW the girls were asking about you the other day and if you were ever going to babysit again!! HA! I reminded them you had a sweet boy to care for now!

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  3. love this. reminds me an article about this exact topic, being open and honest about the joys AND trials of motherhood. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

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  4. Caitlin, this is so beautifully honest. I love it. I'm a new mom, but I was a nanny for 4 years so I actually sort of understand being a stay-at-home mom without kids because I got nights and weekends off. I didn't get any privacy in the bathroom though. There are some things that kids just do NOT understand. :)

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